Well, it has been a long while since I added anything to the blog so I thought I might check in. I re-read my Christmastime blog and think I failed to mention that the Cricket was dinner for the tarantula which makes the story darker...yet somehow funny. (Unless you were Mr.Cricket)
So...I have been telling Mille for a long time now that I would like to move into a retirement home...no yard, three meals, new friends and all. I envisioned myself doing a standup comedy bit every evening because no one would remember my jokes from one night to the next night so no need for new material.
I would start with: "Say, what's up with those heating pads? Does the pad try to escape from the cover at night or is it the other way around?" Then the next night I start the same way with the same joke. I would at last, be a hit comedian. (I told Uncle Don about this and he reminded me that my endevour would work two ways...I would not remember telling the same joke either...just like now)
Through the cancer foundation where I work, I met a couple that sold their house in Lake Highlands and moved into Autumn Leaves.
Fascinated, I went to visit them the other morning.
"Holy Leaves Fatman!" There were 1,000 old fat men like me with the same baseball cap, telling stories and being the hit of God's Waiting Room. It was like me walking
into the Fun House at The State Fair of Texas. All those mirrors! Everyone was me! I found myself in Old-Man-Hell! 1,000 Stan Fennigs!! Like Pogo said, "I have met the enemy, and it is me!"
I ran home, kissed the yard, the dogs and Mille. I honored my young neighbors and vowed not to speak aloud ever again. I won't even go to Barbec's anymore. Too close. Phew! That was too close for comfort. Now safely at home I can mow the yard, pet my dogs and paint stuff.
September
11 years ago